the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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