HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
