Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
