ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
that's an acceptable place to lick
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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