That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
