We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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