i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
