how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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