if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
