Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize