wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
