Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
