ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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