You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
