So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My ATM looks so different sober.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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