This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
