are you still at the devil's house?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
