just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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