i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
