Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
