butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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