Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
