i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize