Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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