You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
