"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
high people should be assigned attendants
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
