It's Friday. Sex?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
