A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
