idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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