Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
