I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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