I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
