dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
