Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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