Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
