She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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