There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
