I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude i'm inner monologue high
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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