How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
