Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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