I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
