I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
