The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
