That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
