i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
