i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
