Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
