He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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