I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
