She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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