I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
