On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
