If i come over, it means nothing
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
