The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
