I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so let's talk penis.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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