found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
