I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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