Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
