it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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