at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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