You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
