I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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