I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
