My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
