3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
