Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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