can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
