I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
