Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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