I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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